Friday

[books] I was regularly "hot sauced" with kimchee... and it was YUM!

So the hott talk right now is about Creative Correction: Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline by Lisa Whelchel - the chick who played Blair on The Facts of Life. People are all in a tizzy because she advocates "hot saucing" sassy children. This means, putting hot sauce on their tongues. Okay, that's not even the worst part. Reading through the reviews, she also suggests spraying water in the face of a toddler mid-tantrum, pulling your child's hair when the won't hold your hand, withholding food, burning their favorite toys, walking through dog shit, drinking toilet water and lots of other psychological torture devices sure to raise a sociopath.

Fuck, it just seems like a lot of work. Now for me, hot saucing wouldn't have done shit. Look at this kid. That's what me and my sister looked like at his age. Bring on the kimchee, man, I loves the hottness. Listen, all you need to do is strike ultimate fear in the heart of your child and they'll behave. I was petrified of my mother (due to the occational smack and shoe/slipper thrown at me from across the room) and look at me now! I'm fine! Sure, a little crazy, but fine!

3 comments:

lauren said...

This confirms my notion that we are watching the next fall of the roman empire... I went on to amazon and read the comments on this book, especially scary were the christian moms saying wow what a good idea...

as if it isn't hard enough to be a kid in this day and age. I seriously wonder...

there was a good post from a teacher that condemns this crap, but there are some truly scary people out there...

amy said...

A lot of the methods suggested by Whelchel just sound like mind games to me. The "drinking toilet" water was actually something like: when you child swears, fill up two glasses- one with tap water and one with toilet water. Dump them out in front of your kid, fill them both with Kool-Aid and ask your kid which one they'd want to drink. The moral being: Swearing leaves a residue inside your mouth not unlike shit molecules suspended in water. Or, maybe it's something like swearing is like your mouth shitting... um... I'm not sure...

Anonymous said...

Cut the little f'ers tongues out, then there's no more problem at all, and all that effort is saved on having to devise more punishments. Not to mention having to come up with more extreme punishments for worse violations. No violation, well controlled kid, give me the knife, or even jagged glass will do.
Sully :) have a nice day