[amy] Ordering a Telephone Number

VERIZON: Hello, could I have your telephone number, please?

AMY: Uh, I don’t have one. I called because I’m trying to order one.

VERIZON: Okay, great. We can set you up with that. Do you want to a local plan, with measured low use service? This is only $13.15 per month with local calls costing an additional two cents per minute between 9 am and 9 pm. Off peak calls are only half a cent per minutes.

AMY: Uh… all right.

VERIZON: There’s also the measured standard use service, which is like the measured low use service but also includes eight dollars in local calling allowance for only five dollars and twenty cents more.

AMY: ... What?

VERIZON: And there’s also the local package, the local package extra, the regional package and the regional package extra which vary in direct-dialed local and regional toll calling, directory assistance and various calling features.

AMY: ... What? What are you talking about?

VERZION: Do you make long distance calls?

AMY: No, not really.

VERZION: Well pretend you do. Do you talk more than 30 minutes per month?

AMY: No, I don’t make long dista-

VERIZON: With the talk time plan, you get a bulk rate on 30, 300, 500 or 1000 minutes-

AMY: Aw fuck this shit. I don’t need a phone. [hangs up]

1 comment:

amy said...