Did you hear about the guy who found a toe-nail in his Mexican rice? True story.

I'm never going to eat out again. Not that I'm a rude tight-wad when I'm out, but it sounds like you don't know what's going to set off some of these servers. You know, I have something on my mind and forget to smile. Then they go pee in my pasta. [Shudder] I'll stick to cooking gourmet meals at home. That's what Food Network is for.

The only food service experience I've had was at a little cafe around here. I liked the job fine except for:

(a) The nasty, sweet coffee stench that got into your clothes, hair and skin. Ugh, I can actually smell it now just thinking about it.

(b) The boss/owner/baker. Total perv.

I never did anything gross to people's food at work because there simply wasn't any time to. We were so busy with all the coffee, tea, pasteries, desserts, shakes, etc. Although, I will say that there's a huge nitrous tank at the cafe (for the wipped cream) and I heard that people used to take whippits during the night shift.

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