[amy] The Drive Home from the Bookstore

AMY: Oh, man. The traffic is so bad.

BARBARA: Why did we have to get stuck behind a school bus? ... Look, they've got a box of icy pops on the floor, there.

AMY: Yeah, they're probably all melted, though.

BARBARA: Hmmm... [Takes out Bust magazine and starts to read.]

[Traffic inches forward.]

AMY: [Takes out containor of Armoral wipes and starts to clean dashboard.]

BARBARA: What are you doing?

AMY: Cleaning. Here, get that spot over there by you.

BARBARA: [Wipes.]

AMY: No. [Pointing.] Right there.

BARBARA: [Wipes.]

[Traffic inches forward.]

AMY: [Wiping steering column.] Hmm hmm hmm... [Wiping around radio.] La la la...

BARBARA: Bust's got an article on Whimpsters...

AMY: I think The Black Table had an article on that a while ago. [Finishes cleaning, throws dirty wipe on car floor.]

[Traffic inches forward.]

AMY: [Looks at back of school bus.] Ohmygodbarbaradontlook.

BARBARA: [Looks at AMY.] What?

AMY: [Looking down at steering wheel.] Don't look but the boys in the back of the bus are looking at... a dirty magazine.

BARBARA: What!? [Waits two seconds before looking at the back of the bus.]

AMY: I told you not to look!

BARBARA: Hm, whatever. [Goes back to reading Bust]

[Traffic inches forward.]

AMY: [Sneaking glances at BOYS blatantly holding up dirty magazine for all of traffic to see.] I mean, isn't there a chaperone on the bus? Wouldn't they not allow something like that?

BARBARA: They're only there to make sure the kids don't set anything on fire.

AMY: What, teachers are only on the bus to make sure fires don't get started?

BARBARA: Yeah.

AMY: That's stupid.

[Traffic inches forward. BOYS in back of bus wave magazine to get AMY's attention.]

AMY: [smiling weakly]

BOYS: [Holding up magazine, giving "thumbs up" and "thumbs down" signs.]

AMY: [Gives "thumbs up"]

BOYS: [Turn the page.]

AMY: [Gives "thumbs down"]

BOYS: [Laughing maniacally]

[Traffic speeds up onto the interstate.]

AMY: Thank God.

BARBARA: Why were you voting on those naked pictures?

AMY: ... I don't know. It seemed the thing to do.