Tuesday

[funny] But I'm still bitter...

2004 Results for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. Why are the winners always about food?

I poo-poo on that shimp vein one. I didn't even crack a smile. I liked these, though:

"Detective Micky Blarke arrived on the scene at 2:14 am, and gave his cigarette such a severe pull that rookie Paul Simmons swore the insides of the detective's cheeks touched, but the judge indicated that that amount of detail was not necessary in his testimony, and instructed the jury to disregard that statement."

"To her dismay, Julia found that her right hand seemed to be pulling her into an increasingly horizontal position; first her wrist and forearm, then her upper arm and shoulder, until her cheek lay on her shoulder, leaving her to surmise that the handrail of the airport's moving sidewalk progressed at a more rapid pace than the sidewalk itself."

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