[books] Such a thing as being over-helpful.

SCENE: After searching Border's Bookstore high and low for a children’s chapter book, Amy uses a “Title Sleuth” computer at the Help pavilion to make sure that the book is actually in stock…

AMY: click click click…

CLERK 1 (behind desk): Can I help you find something?

AMY: Uh, I’m not sure. It says that you have a book “In store” but I wasn’t able to find it when-

CLERK 1: Okay, what’s the name of the book?

AMY: Beyond the Deepwoods.

CLERK 1: ClickityClickityClickityClickity… [Long pause…] Click… Okay, what’s the author’s name?

AMY: Paul Stewart, but you know, I can look around if you’re sure you have it in stock-

CLERK 1: ClickityClickityClickityClicky Okay, here it is.

AMY: I looked around in the Young Adult section and-

CLERK 1: Okay, this is an Independent Reader so it’s not in Young Adult. It’s in the Kiddie section, over here, under Independent Reader. [Running toward Kiddie section]

AMY: [Following] I did look over here and-

CLERK 2 (in Kiddie Section): What are you looking for?

CLERK 1: Last name “Stewart,” Independent Reader.

CLERK 2: Is it hardcover or paperback?

CLERK 1: …

AMY: Hardcover, but I can-

CLERK 2: Okay, the paperback Independent Readers are over here but the hardcovers are over here so it should be here. [Looking…] Stewart…

CLERK 1: [Looking…] Stewart. It’s Stewart…

AMY: [Knows it’s not there because she looked already.]

CLERK 2: Okay, what’s the name of the book?

AMY: “Beyond-

CLERK 1: “Beyond the Deepwoods.” Deepwoods is one word.

CLERK 2: [At another computer] CLickityClickityClickityClickity

AMY (to CLERK 1): I think I can take it from here. Thanks for the help.

CLERK 1: Okay. [Exaunt]

CLERK 2: [Returns] Okay, this IS an Independent Reader but because it’s part of a series it’s over here in the series section filed under “E” for “Edge Chronicles.”

AMY: Look, I don’t give a shit. Just find the book.

CLERK 2: I know it seems like a convoluted way to organize things but it should be here in this section… [Looking…]

AMY: You’re looking right above it.

CLERK 2: It should be… some where… around… here…

AMY: I see it. It’s right under your right hand.

CLERK 2: …

AMY: HERE IT IS! [Grabs book.]

CLERK 2: Okay, there it is.

AMY: Thanks.

CLERK 2: [Looking at AMY]

AMY: What do you, want a tip? Get lost.

CLERK 2: Okay. [Exaunt]

...The End...