[misc] Death by Broadband Upgrade

I'm a little angry, depressed, annoyed and offended at Fair Point Communications right now. It started last Thursday when I called asking for faster broadband. I was currently at 700kb (to check yours, Google "broadband test" and there are loads of free ways to check) and called Customer Service to see what was faster.

I could get 3Mb for $34 per month (I was currently paying $18 for 700kb). I asked if there was a plan somewhere between 700kb and 3Mb and the representative flatly said "no". So I said "Okay" to the 3Mb plan.

By the way, I hate that you have to go through 6 minutes of talking to a female recording before you get to talk to a real person. There was lots of:

FEMBOT: If you have a question about connection, say "connection". If you have a ques-

ME: Connection.


ME: Connec-

FEMBOT: I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you said. If you have a ques-




FEMBOT: Did you say "connection"?


And on and on and on. I think Fair Point hopes that you'll blow your brains out from frustration so they don't have to take your call. It was ridiculous.

So anyway, I ordered the faster service on a Thursday and they said it would be done the next day. Friday afternoon I did my broadband test and it said I was at 1.5Mb. I was supposed to be at 3Mb. So I called them (dealing with FEMBOT again) and finally talked to a guy. He said they weren't done yet, but it would be complete by 6 pm.

Saturday, I did a broadband test again and I was still at 1.5Mb. I also received two email confirmations saying that my $34/1.5Mb upgrade was complete. I called again. FEMBOT told me that I had recently ordered a change to my service and it was complete. "That's what you think," I told her. I finally talked to a human and he said that I won't get 3Mb. Ever. Where I live, I'm too far away from the central building, whatever that means. All I cared was that I was paying for 3Mb and only receiving 1.5Mb. He informed me that there was a 1.5Mb plan.

That's interesting. I was told point blank by someone else that there were no 1.5Mb plans.

He said there were two, actually. One regular one and one with a faster upload speed. If I wanted to change my current plan, I'd have to talk to the Billing department. I asked him to connect me.

He said I'd have to wait until Monday. That department doesn't work on weekends.

You mother-frakers. (Sorry, I've been watching a lot of Battlestar Galactica recently.)

Monday. Today. I call. I yell "Die, fembot, die!" into the phone and repeatedly press zero until I'm transfered to a human. I'm not playing around anymore.

I get a real-live girl on the phone and try to outline what I'm pissed about:

- You said I'd get 3Mb (twice), all I got was 1.5Mb
- I've been paying for something that I'm not receiving
- Is there or isn't there a 1.5Mb plan?

She says that if all I can receive is 1.5Mb, then that's all I can receive.

ME: I'm paying for 3Mb

HER: Up to 3Mb.

ME: What?

HER: The plan is for up to 3Mb.

ME: Okay, wow, when you say it like that, I guess that lets you off the hook but no one ever said "UP TO" 3Mb before. Everyone I spoke to said I would get the 3Mb. And there is no 1.5Mb plan.

HER: No.

ME: I want to go back to the 700kb I was getting before.

HER: Okay, I can make the switch. It's going to be $23 per month.

ME: Wait. I was paying $18 before. Five days ago.

HER: Well, I can... Hold on. ... Okay, I can get you a better price. $13 for 6 months, then $18 per month after that.

ME: [Surprised] Wow. Um... Thank you. Yes, I would-

HER: You are signing up for a yearly contract for that price.

ME: Meaning, if I terminate the service before the year is out (and ditch you a-holes for Comcast like I'm currently thinking about), then...

HER: There is a fee of $80.

ME: ... Is there someone else I can speak to?

HER: My supervisor. Please hold.

You gosh-darn, mother-fraking, a-hole, bleepity bleeps. I mean, COME ON.

I ended up speaking to a nice man who put a permanent note on my account that says if I terminate my service before a year is out, the fee will be waived. Just to finish beating the dead horse, I ask if there is a 1.5Mb plan. He says yes, but it costs the same as the 3Mb plan.

In the end, I'm back to the same service I had last week, but apparently cheaper for 6 months. Which I feel a bit better about having had to deal with the lying, and the lying, and all the lying. I'm so looking into Comcast or something else. What do other people around here use? I've heard good things about Comcast.

Now I'm terrified to get my next bill in the mail. Who knows what kind of hot mess it's going to look like.


Sara said...

I use Comcast and I love it...I've not had any problems in a year and a I'm a happy camper...

Anonymous said...

Comcast isn't bad, it's not great, but it isn't bad. I haven't tested to see what we are at (speed) but I usually only encounter a minor lag (couple seconds) on some of the heavier pages.

Mike thinks their customer service sucks. But he also has the patience of a 2 year old. I'm just saying.

Joansie said...

I hope you got the guys name who made you that promise. Not too worry...he won't be employed there the next time you call. I hate Fairpoint. It was suppose to be better. You can't even pay your bill on-line. Com'on, this the the computer age. You have to stay on the line so long to speak to a real person. Though Verizon wasn't much better, I'd rather have them back.

gayle said...

We hates the Fairpoint with a white-hot passion...
We hate it so much, that we cancelled our landline and went to cellphones.
The ironic part is that we had to call to cancel from a friend's house, since our phone hadn't been working for a month - couldn't call out at all, and only about one of five incoming calls got through (though so static-y as to be totally unintelligible.) They had kept promising to send someone out to check the line, but no one ever showed up.
Yep, hates them, we does...