Monday

[news] The Bad and the Good

In the morning, I usually abide by the following routine: The alarm goes off at 6:00 am and I hit a seven minute snooze button for about an hour. This morning, after the radio came on for the third or fourth time, I awoke to the following news: The announcer first said that the Federal ban on assault rifles has expired. This means that the average American citizen can go out and buy AK-47s, Uzis and TEC-9s. Machine guns available to anyone, the thought of which made my eyes pop open at stare at my ceiling in fear. I imagined children running up and down the street outside my apartment, gleefully firing off rounds into the sky. Next, the announcer said that apple picking season has arrived a week to ten days early this year because of all the rain we’ve gotten this summer. I relaxed into bed again and thought about huge, crisp McIntosh apples. Yum. Apple pie. Mmmm, I should try to make one this year. I can buy an Uzi and shoot all the apples I want out of a tree. Ahhhhh…

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so down for this. I may have to get my gats up in Vt. since those punks in MA have their own stringent laws. Friggin' communists.
I am also psyched b/c I live right next to Brockton, which even though it's a small city that most people have never even heard of, it has more than once made it into the top 5 nationally of per capita murders (this is really true), competing with New Orleans and 'DC. I can't wait to see how the rates go up once the AK's are cut loose. Thank you Dukakis and Bush, you worthless f-cks.
Sully

amy said...

Whoa Sully, you are strictly from the ghet-to.

I don't understand why they'd allow people to legally have machine guns. I mean, what's the point really? You can't use them to hunt...