Thursday

[books] Shitty Book Comprehensive #1

TARGET: Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose

BY: Paris Hilton (Ha ha ha, not really. It was actually written by a ghostwriter because the publishing house didn’t accept her incoherent crayon scribbles on a bunch on cocktail napkins.)

PREMISE: In her fabulous and very tongue-in-cheek -- and chic -- guide, you'll discover Paris's twenty-three rules for How to Be an Heiress (Never have only one cell phone when you can have many), Paris's list of Twelve Things an Heiress Would Never Do (Go out the night after the Oscars), and Three Things Most People Think Heiresses Shouldn't Do, But I Think They Should (Go out with broke guys). Paris also shares private information such as her memories of growing up with her sister, Nicky, and family photos; her favorite designers and her unique beauty secrets; what a night out with Paris is like; her personal gallery of fashion don'ts; and behind-the-scenes stories from both installments of her hit television series, The Simple Life. Of course no book by Paris would be complete without her pet teacup Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, and in these pages, the best-dressed dog in the world shares pages from her own secret diary.

Survey SAYS:

“Not only is education and literacy in this country at a new time low, but publishers have decided to prove that any old novel now a days can be published.” – Literature Falcon

“One of the worst books that have ever been. A huge blow to literary medium as a whole.” - Y. Vestel

“Whether this book is good, well, I couldn't tell you, I don't consider myself wise enough to judge for another person as I have enough trouble forming my own judgements. But, I will say: Will you marry me Paris Hilton? I would love not to have to work another day in my life and just well, feed off the capitalistic consumers that make these corporate pompous lives possible.” - Michael J. Szymczyk

“Question: When did Amazon start selling kitty litter?” – GRS

“Don't buy this book. If you do, you are just feeding into her wallet and her ego. Save your money for something usefull, like toilet paper.” – Tony Montana

“I got the sense that Paris really wanted to give the audience a sense that she has some depth behind the party girl...but my impression was the 'depth' had the quivalent of a bird bath in August!” – C. K. Ogi

“Keep eating fast food, drinking soda, partying until 3:00 am, acting ditzy, and sleeping in your makeup for that "dewy" look. I will see you when you are 40 and will see how glam you are then! Can't wait!” – Veronica Sanders

SCORE: 3 pieces of dog poop. Tinkerbell's dog poop.

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