Saturday

[amy] Murderface Catdog

I'm writing this as I wait while a sweater soaks. It's the very first sweater I ever knit and it's dear to me. It's in the bathroom upstairs in a plastic tub resting in a specialty soap imported from Canada. I decided that it was high time for a good long wash. It was probably the cat pee that really sealed the deal.

For a while now, a friendly neighborhood cat has been coming around my home. He started to come inside (no doubt lured by the free delicacies I offered) and made himself at home. Dollar and I call him Murderface Catdog for reasons so random and numerous, it would be pointless to get into it now.

He's the most amiable and grumpy little guy. He purrs a lot but also wants to bite your fingers. He will fall asleep in my lap and occasionally fart. It's all pros and cons with him and right now, it's... Let me put it this way: Do you intimately know what wool soaked with cat pee smells like? I do.

Excuse me while I go check on the sweater and a few machine washable things that also received some collateral damage.

I think I know why he did it. I suppose my shallow square knitting basket could resemble a litterbox. If that's where one keeps a few spare balls of yarn and various knitting projects. Factor in that Murderface hadn't been outside to relieve himself in, oh, I'd say three days. The weather has been particularly frigid recently, which is one reason we let him stay over.

Anyway, he left this morning. He didn't want breakfast (I should have known something was up!), just to go outside. I went into my craftroom in the afternoon and noticed a smell. I bent down to pick up my sweater and noticed that it was damp. Wondering how my sweater got wet, I felt all along the damp part and put it to my nose. Smells like wet wool and something... sharp... sniff... like a vinegar... sniiiiiff... what would be... It's pee OH MY GOD IT'S CAT PEE!

I rummaged through everything in the basket, feeling some things wet, others dry, some yarns smelled like pee, other's didn't, or did they? Everything had to go except for the things I could wash. Yeah, I could have kept the yarn and washed it and knit with it, but I would know- I would know that there had been pee. And forget about ever using the yarn to make something as a gift.

The Aftermath: The sweater is almost ready to come out. I washed it three times. I'm looking on the bright side- it was high time to wash the sweater anyway. I've got other smaller things to wash but those will be easy. I'm going to a fancy dinner out tonight where I expect to pay too much money for too little food. I plan on extremely enjoying the meal and telling everyone at the table, "Wow, this is so nice after dealing with cat pee all day long. Could someone please order me another glass of wine, I'm going to wash my hands again."

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