[knitting] Yarn Pr0n

Look what I got in the mail yesterday...

Sack O' Yarn

I ordered some new fall yarns from Knit Picks!

Clockwise from top: Sierra in Bud, Palette in Tan, Petal and Fawn, Suri Dream in Fern, Decadence in Tan, Twirl in Pumpkin, Ambrosia in Lavender, Panache in Cranberry

I haven't messed around with them too much but I had to knit a little bit of Panache. The color is Cranberry but it should really be called Ruby. The blend of alpaca, cashmere, silk and merino work together to make this yarn almost unbearably soft and give it a subtle sheen. It knit up quickly on size 9 needles...

Penny for scale

The only bad thing I have to say about this shipment is with regards to the Palette yarn. I ordered a light brown (tan), a dark brown (fawn) and a light pink (petal) to try my hand at Fair Isle knitting. What I got was tan, diarrhea brown and nuclear pink. Take a look at the "Fawn" I got:

Now take a look at what color they advertise "Fawn" to be on the website:

No shit. I think they sent me "Bark" by mistake but it PLAINLY says "Fawn" on the label. I don't know what I'm going to do with this yarn. The color isn't the end of the world but I don't think I'll be able to bring myself to knit with it because it just screams "Hershey Squirts!" at me.

I went up to my sister's last night and after I showed her all the yarn, one by one, we had the following conversation:

AMY: You can have that Twirl if you want.
BARBARA: Really?
AMY: Yeah, I ordered it for you.
BARBARA: Thanks! I think I'll make a hat.
AMY: There isn't enough for a hat.
BARBARA: Are you sure?
AMY: ... Relatively. ... No, I'm sure.
BARBARA: Well then maybe I'll knit it with another yarn.
AMY: Whatever, I'm going to go back down to my place. [Packs up yarn.]
BARBARA: Don't forget your diarrhea yarn.
AMY: ... [Gets up from couch.]
BARBARA: Hey. I said-
AMY: I'll see you later.
BARBARA: I don't want this one. It's gross.
AMY: I know it's gross! That's why I tried leaving it! ... Oh fine, just give it here.

And then, this morning when I got in my car, guess what I saw on the floor? The diarrhea yarn!!! It must have fallen (jumped?) out of my bag last night! AGH! It's the Tell-Tale Yarn! It'll follow me everywhere I go until I knit a noose out of it and hang myself. ... Hey, that would make a good short story. I call dibs!

And I'm still plodding along on my Kiri shawl. I was able to add a couple more inches this weekend. I'm closing in on the end of the second ball. Only three more (600 yards) to go. I hope I don't hate this shawl by the time I finish it.

* * *
They've traded the "Fawn" and "Bark" images on the website. They're trying to quietly correct their mistake and make me look insane at the same time. Those cunning Knit Pick devils! I swear I would never order a shitty color like that.


Holy crap! Any bad Knit Picks feelings I was momentarily having vaporized after I called their Customer Service! They're sending me a ball of Bark. Just like that, poof, they're sending me one. They didn't think I was crazy or anything! I offered to send them back the Fawn, but she said, "No, that's okay. I'll cost more sending it out here and then sending you the right one back." Which means... I'll never get rid of this ball! Noooo! Kaaaaaaahn!!!


Bill said...

See? they don't want that crap color any more than you do. It was all a bald-faced attempt to get rid of what they knew was awful yarn.

Diana said...

I like that color. It reminds me of the fur of a baby deer...

Don't send it to me, though, 'cause I don't even know how to knit.

Secret Stalker said...

It looks like the poop of a baby who just ate a meal of carrot & squash baby food. The Bark is much better--not quite as turdy.

Should I be dropping you hints as to my identity? We are both too mature for that, right? OK, how about this: I love to knit. Good luck!

amy said...

Diana! So nice to hear from you. Don't worry, I won't send you the yarn; Not only is it the color of "the fur of a baby deer" [snicker], it's very fine (which means you'd be knitting it with needles as thick as toothpicks).

As for my stalker... You like to knit, eh? Uh... are you... Might your name be Sarah? ... Helen? ... Kate! Uh...

amy said...

Diana: Oh yeah, and I saw the German flick The Experiment last night and thought of you whenever Dora was on screen.


Diana said...

How nice that you thought of me! I really wanted to visit you in Vermont this summer, but I didn't end up having any free weekends because of family birthdays, holidays, my granpa being in the hospital, a conference, etc. Now I am in New Orleans. Maybe you can visit me here sometime?