Wednesday

[amy] Back to Mine (with books) ... (hopefully)

Finally. I've been dog-sitting for the past... one, two, ten... forever and I get to go back to my place tonight. Yea! Not only am I looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, not having to walk a dog anymore, and just generally returning to my hermit lifestyle is that I'll be getting away from cable tv. My co-worker has cable and I've been watching all kinds of True Hollywood Stories and sitcom reruns. I want to go back to watching my Netflix tv shows on my own tv on my own couch.

And I started out this whole dog-sitting, "do something nice for someone else" thing because I wanted to do something that would make me feel better about myself. I needed to prove to me that I am a good person. Which is a pretty selfish reason to do a selfless deed. ... Whatever. So even though I really didn't feel like doing the dog-thing again, I agreed. It would be better than putting the dog in the kennel, which the dog is too old for and besides, I would feel guilty about the dog crying the night away in a cage. I said yes...

But then thought about it... I was originally offered $100 for the job, "Because that's what I'd be paying a kennel," my co-worker had said. "No, no, no," I replied, thinking If I got paid, that would mar this nice thing I'm doing. The only reason I'm doing this is to add ammo to my battery of good deeds in the event I need to fire off a few rounds at someone to show what a super person I am. Me. Me me me.

But I thought about it some more... I mean shit, the last time I dog-sat was for one week but it felt like two. And this time was going to be for longer. So I approached my co-worker with a loophole: "I don't want to get paid in money, per say, ipso facto, visa vi. I want you to order me some books. Knitting books from Overstock to be exact." I handed him a print out of the books I wanted, highlighting the prices. "For some reason, these books aren't offered at a reduced rate at Amazon," I said, showing him a printout of Amazon's prices for comparison. "You will have to pay for shipping from Overstock but with the money I, I'm sorry, you will be saving, the shipping will more then pay for itself." I finished with a PowerPoint presentation outlining why the purchase makes sense and should be made.

Helpless (and maybe a little scared after I said, "Oh and if you don't get me what I want, you'll never see your dog again."), my co-worker placed the order on February 3rd. He was having them shipped to his place because I would be there. On February 4th, he forwarded me an email from Overstock saying that the order had been shipped. Wow, I thought, that's as fast as Amazon! So I'm looking forward to getting the shipment on February 7th. It doesn't arrive, but that's all right, my Amazon order arrived (I had placed my own book order on the side... It's an illness I have, I can't stop getting books) and I had plenty to look through. The next day, the Overstock order hadn't come but the rest of my Amazon order did (heh... it was a big order and had to be split into two shipments) and I had lots to ooo and ahh over.

The next day- nothing. And the next? Nada. A week later, I'm ready to drive to Overstock headquarters and slash the CEO's tires. I mean, what the fuck? Seriously. Unless they're lying, I don't see why, if the package was shipped on February 3rd, it hadn't arrived by February 15th. That's like... a lot of days difference. Are they bringing it to me via train? Pony express? Carrier pigeon? I find the whole thing to be completely unacceptable and I now hate Overstock and will never order from them again. They suck. They should call themselves Oversuck. They're the suckiest, slowest, ... stupidest company ever.

Meanwhile, the whole task of "dog-sitting" had been superseded by me expecting a package in the mail every single day and growing exponentially more frustrated, disenchanted and angry. It's gotten to the point where I'm ready to start accusing my co-worker's neighbors of stealing.

But it should be there today. It has to be. It... it has to be. I just want my books and I want to go home...

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