[books] The Return

I haven't talked about books for a while because I haven't been reading. I've been wasting my life watching crap movies and television series. Well, season two of The Shield was really good... And the fourth season was Sex and the City was considerably more enjoyable than the first three... And, hah, I have to say, Reign: The Conqueror is fucking outstanding so far... But, uh... oh yeah! Books! Ahem.

I've been reading some graphic novels recently that are excellent. Bone, the one volume edition of the series, is wonder-fucking-full. I'm about halfway through (like, page seven-hundred and something) and I can't imaging what's going to happen next. Where's the story going? What's going to happen? Will the Bones ever make it back to Boneville? ... You should note, though, that this book is meant to remain stationary. It's BIG and HEAVY and begs people to say to you, "Whoa! That's the biggest book I've ever seen! HA HA! Are you reading it or is it a weapon?!"

And I read Powers: Roleplay which was only nnyaah. I accidentally read volume two before volume one, and I was somewhat confused by all the Retro Girl references. I can't understand why people are adamant about this series. I know people who think Brian Michael Bendis is a "god" and "can do no wrong" but I haven't had my socks knocked off yet. I still like Sleeper better.

Anyway, on with the upcoming books!

Alexander McCall Smith, best known for his No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency books (which don't seem to get any more interesting as the series progresses) has TWO new ones due out this Fall. There's The Sunday Philosophy Club: An Isabel Dalhousie Mystery, which is a brand spanking new series. From what I can gather, Isabel Dalhousie is a single, independent Scottish-American philosopher playing Murder She Wrote around Edinburgh. Apparently she's "plucky" and is surrounded by "delightfully quirky characters." Eh... Sounds a lot like Precious Ramotswe to me.

He's also got The Girl Who Married a Lion and Other Tales from Africa. The title should explain it all. Hey, I have an idea for what his next book should be called... How about Another Boring Story from a Guy Who Writes the Same Boring Thing Over and Over Again, And Other Boring Stories. Right?

Augusten Burroughs can't seem to stop writing about himself. His new one is entitled Magical Thinking: True Stories. I sympathize with you man, and I love you're writing, but PLEASE write more fiction. I have a list of the top five funniest books I've ever read in my life and Sellevision is on it.

Speaking of something fun to read, Christopher Moore has a new one one the way: The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas TERROR. Okay, I made the "terror" all caps like that because it's more TERRIFYING. A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas TERROR. What's this book about, you ask? "Lena Marquez of Pagan Vegetarians for Peace arranges to have mean (and fat) ex-husband Dale dispatched with a shovel. But young Josh thinks that Dale was Santa, and the efforts of the angel Raziel to raise him from the dead bring a host of problems." Like I said: Fun. Fun-filled TERROR!

Yann Martel has The Facts behind the Helsinki Roccamatios coming out. It sounds pretty darn good. It won't be coming out in HARDCOVER under December 1 in the US, but it's been in PAPERBACK in Canada since 1993. Go and get it at

That's it for the pre-pub alert. I'm still anticipating: Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, Persepolis 2: The Story of a Return and The Courage Consort.

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