Receptionist 1: Huy Fong.

Amy: Hello. I was wondering if I could place an order.

Receptionist 1: Eh… Hold on.

Amy’s put on hold. Instead of elevator music, Amy starts listening to a radio show already in progress…

Caller: So I can see her driving behind me and do you know what she’s doing while she’s driving?

DJ: What?

Caller: Shaving her armpits!!

Amy: [Stops scribbling out a note. Blinks.]

DJ: You have got to be kidding.

Caller: No, no. I swear. I could see her in my rear-view. She had one arm inside her shirt-

DJ: Was she using an electric razor or a regular one?

Caller: Electric. [Laughter inside the studio] I swear! She’s probably heading down the southbound 603 right now.

Receptionist 2: Hello?

Amy: Um, hello. I was wondering if I could place an order for a couple cases of hot sauce.

Receptionist 2: Okay, can I have your number and I’ll call you back.

Amy: Would it be better if I faxed in my order.

Receptionist 2: Yes. I think that would be best.

Amy: Okay.

Receptionist 2. Okay? Thanks for ca-

Amy: I was wondering something else, though. Um… is your web site up-to-date?

Receptionist 2: …

Amy: I was just wondering because it said your Pepper Sa-te is out-of-stock.

Receptionist 2: Yes. We are out of that.

Amy: Okay.

Receptionist 2: Okay? Have a nice-

Amy: I was wondering something else.

Receptionist 2: …

Amy: Sorry. Um… How long would it take to get my order?

Receptionist 2: I don’t know what we’ll have the Sa-te in, so you’re order will be sent out whenever we get it in.

Amy: Oh, I’m not ordering the Sa-te. I’d like a case of the Chili Garlic and… uh… Sriracha.

Receptionist 2: Your order probably wouldn’t ship today. It would ship out tomorrow.

Amy: … Oh. Okay. When do you think it would arrive at my house?

Receptionist: You choose what UPS delivery you want for shipping. On the order form next to shipping it says click here for shipping costs. You enter your zip code and the weight and put that on the order form and fax it to us.

Amy: Okay.

Receptions. Okay? Okay. Bye. [click.]

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