Monday

Ween on Halloween. I was looking forward to this concert up in Burlington even though I’m not a huge Ween fan. I just thought it’d be wild to see all the costumes and people watch.

Barbara, Jason and I arrive at the Memorial Auditorium at 7:30 pm. The band comes out at 8:30 and the pushing begins. It wasn’t so much heavy moshing as it was heaving leaning and slow pushing. I was right up front and felt like I was in the ocean. Okay, this isn’t too bad. I can handle this. There’s one guy that’s totally wasted, though, and he’s kind of oozing around the crowd. He’d lean into me and I’d pushing him away. Miraculously, he wouldn’t fall. He’d just press himself against other people.

By 10:30, I’m ready to go home. I know that Barbara and Jason want to stay so I ask for the car keys. “I’ll go sleep in the car,” I say. Barbara flips out because she doesn’t want me walking to the car alone. Hey, this is Burlington, not Harlem. I’ll be fine. But no, she wants me to wait.

I sit on some big wheeled boxes at the back of the Auditorium and drink water. I like looking at people’s costumes. There’s a guy wearing a rocket ship, a cow girl, wonder woman, a faerie. It’s all good.

Barbara comes to the back and viscously wonders what’s the matter with me. Nothing. I’m not a huge Ween fan, I’ve had my fill of the show, I’ve got a headache and I’m wicked tired. I’ll sit here until you’re ready to go.

Jason’s having a fine time. He’s dancing and wandering around. Barbara’s standing next to me, getting angrier by the minute. Eventually, Jason sees her face and says, “All right, let’s go.”

So we walk back to the car in silence. I’m the bad guy because I caused this whole problem by saying I was ready to leave. I never said we had to leave! I could have slept on the boxes in the back. Barbara was the one with something shoved up her ass.

On the ride back home, I lay down and go to sleep. Before I drift off, I can hear them talking in the front seat. I can’t make out much but Jason says how he would have liked to stay until the show was over and how Barbara’s being a bitch, blaming me for the whole thing. Fuck. Them. I think before closing my eyes.

I wake up to Barbara angrily chastising Jason for not listening to her:

Barbara: You’re obviously not listening to me.

Jason: I thought I was.

Barbara: I’m telling you about these five different ideas I have and I’m trying to tie them all together and while I’m thinking about how to say it, you say, “So, are they man-made?” …

Jason …

Amy: What the fuck is she talking about?

Barbara: [Angry] You’re not listening to me.

Jason: [Quiet] I don’t want talk about it.

Barbara: Why?

Jason: …

Barbara: [Whining] Why are you mad?

Jason: Just finish what you were saying.

Barbara: … I was saying that Nature is the biggest Nurturer. People don’t realize that.

Amy: [Rolling eyes in back seat]

Barbara: Resources are being used up and the environment is being wiped out. It’s important to ecosystems to have a natural environment.

Amy: Shut up.

Barbara: Animals depend on the environment.

Jason: [Says something unintelligible.]

Barbara: Well, a man-made pond would be all right. Because, after a while it’s fully integrated into nature. And it’s important for all the animals that depend on it. Fish live in the pond, the birds eat the insects-

Amy: Shut up.

Barbara: …insects live there… frogs live there…

Amy: Shoot me now.

Barbara: …deer go up to the ponds and drink water…

Amy: I’m going to open the door and jump from this moving car.

30 MINUTES LATER

Barbara: Bats are so cute. Vampire bats are the cutest.

Jason: [Asleep at the wheel]

Barbara: They don’t actually suck blood. They bite people or cows and there’s something in their saliva that keeps blood from coagulating.

Amy: It’s one in the fucking morning. Shut up.

Barbara: So they’ll keep on licking the bite and it’ll keep on bleeding and they’ll lick up the blood. They’ll be like lick-lick-lick-lick-

Amy: SHUT UUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!

Barbara: -lick-lick-lick-lick. They’re so cute.

5 MINUTES LATER

Jason: [Pulling into drive way]

Amy: [Jumping out of car before it stops. Runs inside and goes to bed.]

- - -

Barbara has a "real problem" with people that (a)cut her off when she's saying something and (b)people that don't listen when she's saying something. I'd like to address these two points.

1. She flips out and cries when someone cuts her off. Little does she realize, she doesn't get cut off anymore than anyone else. She's just hyper-sensitive about it. It makes her feel like she’s not important when someone cuts her off. I say: Shut the fuck up and get over it.

2. She flips out and cries when she thinks that someone’s not listening to what she’s saying. Meanwhile, someone will be watching an interesting program on the Cooking Network and she’ll say something stupid/pretentious {See: Car ride home, above}. She’ll wait and when she doesn’t get a response, she’ll get totally pissed off and say, “You never listen to me!” and go lock herself in the bathroom to sob. It’s not like anyone purposefully ignores her. If you don’t drop everything you’re doing to focus 110% of your attention on her, she takes it as a personal slight. I say: Shut the fuck up and get over it.

I’m done venting. I feel remarkably better.

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