Monday

The Washington Post Book Club has chosen Neil Gaiman’s and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omens as this month’s selection. An online discussion will take place on Thursday, September 25th. Read a review here.

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Occasionally at work, we get terrifying emails from the safety office. A worker somewhere in Illinois could be unloading a truck when, unwittingly, his foot gets caught up in a rope and he’s dragged around by heavy machinery. Things like that.

Most recently, we’ve been warned about a small monster known as the brown recluse spider. Along with a picture of the spider and text describing how dangerous it is, we receive several email attachments showing a time-lapse brown recluse spider bite on an unidentified man’s thumb. The bite is shown in day 3, day 6, day 9 and day 10. The email itself warns the “squeamish” reader not to open the attachments as they are “pretty gross”.

This only makes me more curious. Asking for it, I look at all the photos and nearly projectile vomit all over my monitor. Basically by day 10, the guy’s thumb looks like a big, purple bratwurst sausage that has just split open. Ugh. Barf. I suddenly get the feeling that things crawling all over my legs.

Then I remember 2 days before this email was sent, I had gotten Steve to come into my office and kill a big, brown spider. It was a recluse, I know it was! I almost died! I sent him an email about this and he replied with:

“nah, i don't think that was a brown recluse. we do have them around here, but usually under porches and decks and stuff. luckily for us the brown recluse truly is a recluse, and shies away from most things. i had a friend that was bitten when we were kids, and he spent quite a while in the hospital. have a great weekend....”

Thanks, I’ll have a great weekend… hiding in my bed! Aaagghh!!

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