Wednesday

This morning I went to the Honda dealership to get my CR-V serviced...

(Actual conversation)

Ken: Amy? You’re all set.

Amy: Thanks.

Ken: We replaced your air filter, replaced the oil and oil filter, set tire pressure and fluid levels, serviced brakes, took care of the shift cable recall and installed a cap on the throttle drum.

Amy: Okay.

Ken: We also found your right front sway bar link to be broken…

Amy [startled]: Broken? What does that mean?

Ken: The sway bar has to do with your car’s suspension. New England roads can be really bumpy and they occasionally break. It’s covered under warrantee and we’ve ordered the replacement part.

Amy: …

Ken: Had you… heard anything while you were driving?

Amy: Um… There’s a particularly deep manhole on my drive home from work. I would sometimes hear a noise when I drove over it.

Ken: [nodding]

Amy: Okay… well, thank you.

Ken: Have a nice day.

Amy: You, too.



(Actual conversation, as recorded inside my head)

Ken: Amy? You’re all set.

Amy: Thanks.

Ken: We replaced your blah blah, replaced the thingamajig and doodad, did this, did that, set the pressure and fluidified the doohickey, took care of the thingamabob recall and installed a thingy on the ding-dong.

Amy: Okay.

Ken: We also found your poopy-doo gizmo to be broken…

Amy: [startled] Broken? What does that mean?

Ken: The gizmo is super important. You obviously drive too fast and broke it. It’s covered under warrantee and we’ve ordered the replacement part.

Amy: [thinking] I bet that’s what that loud clunking noise I've been hearing is.

Ken: Had you… heard anything while you were driving?

Amy: Um… there’s a particularly deep manhole on my drive home from work. I would sometimes hear noise when I drove over it. [thinking] And every time I pulled into my driveway.

Ken: [smirking]

Amy: Okay… well, thank you.

Ken: Half a mice bay.

Amy: You, too.

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