[amy] Portraits

AMY: Do you know what I want to do?


AMY: I want to get some portraits taken of us. To hang up around the house.

DOLLAR: Oh yeah?

AMY: Yeah. I want to get ones like... Um... You know the family portrait in American Pie? Where Jason Biggs and his mom and dad are in front of a fake background, looking off into the distance?


AMY: You don't remember?

DOLLAR: No. We're not doing that.

AMY: Come on! It would be f-

DOLLAR: No way. No. ... No.

AMY: You can wear a turtleneck, all folded down properly around the neck, with an ugly sweater. And I'll wear a flowery dress with one of those lace doily collars.

DOLLAR: [laughs] Hahahaha. [stops] But still no.

AMY: We can be in front a background with the lasers shooting across.

DOLLAR: [groans] No way. I know exactly what you're talking about and I have too many bad memories of actually having those pictures taken.

AMY: Yeah, me too but this would be... Different. I want to be sitting down and have you stand behind me, with your hand on my shoulder but not with your hand just resting on my shoulder- I want you to be gripping kind of hard so that you can see the fabric of my dress pucker underneath your fingers. And you can be glowering at the camera while I have a look of pensive fear on my face.

DOLLAR: No. It's still a funny idea, but no. I think we should take pictures of the two of us, sure, but not like that.

AMY: All right. [thinking: That's what you think.]

To be continued...

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