I thought all this was meant to happen yesterday

What a horrible morning. I forgot to bring something from home into work. Now I’ll have to go back home at some point and I see it as a big waste of time and gas. On my way to work, I bought a nice cup of coffee but forgot to show them my coffee club card. Right now, I could be one step closer toward a free coffee but no. I can’t seem to remember to take out the little paper card that stares me in the face every time I open my wallet. And I’m paranoid that the girls behind the registers were mocking me when they chirped “This is free one so you’re all set. Have a nice day!” at all the other customers. How could I have forgotten to use my card when they were giving me hints? They must have known I would forget and were just rubbing everyones free coffees in my face. Everyone’s out to get me.

Then in the parking lot at work, as I’m getting out of my car whist juggling my bag, lunch, keys and badge, I almost dropped my worthless, not-going-to-count-towards-a-free-coffee coffee. Suddenly realizing how precious the caffeine was to me this morning of all mornings, I reached out and caught it. For a split-second, I thought “Whew.” I immediately realized that I grabbed the coffee too tight, squeezing the paper cup until the plastic lid popped off and hot, brown liquid literally explodes out into the air. In a knee jerk reaction, I dropped the coffee on the ground. “Shit!” I say, as one co-worker walks by, not even paying attention to the tragic scene playing out no more than five feet from him. I have a burning desire to throw my lunch at the back of his head like a Frisbee (and what a wonderful thock the hard Tupperware would make against the back of his soft melon). I shut my car door and see coffee streaming down the window and move my hand to wipe at it only find out that it’s on the inside of the car. I look down to see my jacket, bag, things inside the bag and my hands all wet. And I’m standing in a puddle of coffee.

I want to go home and start the day over. I’d start by not getting out of bed.

No comments: