Monday

Recently, all my television channels at home changed around. I hate it when this happens because the cable TV people never warn you (or, maybe they did and I just threw out that piece of mail without reading it.), so you get home and the channel you had left it on last night (Comedy Central) is now something completely different (Country Music Television). At first you watch, enduring the twang and sappy story line, waiting for punch line. Waiting for the screen to cut to Jon Stewart, who has a wickedly funny comment about how much country music sucks. You’re expectant smile slowly turns into a grimace and you suddenly realize the jokes on you- You just watched a country music video in it’s entirety, you fucking hick! Well, it wasn’t so bad. There was a storyline to follow, it was sad… it wasn’t so bad.

So then what are all the new channels? Where’s my MTV? Aw fuck, where’s the Cooking Network? Spike TV? Where’s the- wait, what was that? Bravo? We never got Bravo before. What’s this that’s on? A whole bunch of gay men… redecorating… making over this guy… who appears to be straight… Ohmigod! It’s Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! I’ve never seen this show and it’s all people can talk about. After watching the episode (and the one that aired immediately after), I realized this is my new favorite show. The guys are hilarious and totally nice, their make-overs are amazing… I just, I don’t know. There’s something magical about the show.

And then Inside the Actor’s Studio (with James Lipton) was on. Have you seen this? (**Note: Sorry if this is coming off as ‘behind-the-times.’ Like I said, we never got Bravo before. You only need to worry when I say things like, “Have you guys heard of indoor plumbing? It’s GREAT! Such a time saver.”) I thought Will Farrell’s James Lipton impersonation on SNL was a joke, something he made up. This Lipton guy is a total freak. I saw the Ben Affleck one and it went a little like:

* * *

Lipton: Affleck. What kind of name is that?

Affleck: It’s actually Gaelic and Celtic. It was originally spelled A-U-C-H-L-I-N-

Lipton: What is your middle name?

Affleck: Geza. I was named after-

Lipton: What sound do you love?

Affleck: When a woman-

Lipton: What sound do you hate?

Affleck: Can I just-

Lipton: What profession, other than your own, would you like to participate in?

Affleck: Would you please let me an-

Lipton: Thank you. Ben Affleck everyone! [clap, clap, clap, clap]

* * *

So now Amy’s Must-See TV List goes a little something like:

1. Most Extreme Elimination Challenge
2. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
3. Inside the Actors Studio
4. Anything on Food Network

No comments: