Extreme Beer Tasting

I’ve purchased a couple seasonal beers. These beers being flavors I’ve never seen before: Pumpkin. Okay, I can dig that. It sounds interesting. What I’ll do is drink the beer for you and report my findings. See, I’ll be doing all the work for you and saving you mass quantities of money. Extreme Beer Tasting (EBT) will hopefully become a regular addition to my blog.

Blue Moon: Pumpkin Ale

What can I tell you about Blue Moon? Well, you’ve probably seen it in the cooler at supermarkets so you know what it looks like. This particular style of ale is brewed with natural flavors and it’s brewed in the U.S.A. and… If you have questions you can call 1-800-BLE-MOON. I don’t really know anything about this beer, I’m just reading off the box and bottle. 1-800-BLE-MOON, eh? You think 1-800-BLU-MOON was taken? Call one eight hundred bleh moon. Heh heh. It’s probably worth mentioning I’ve nearly finished the first bottle. It tastes not even remotely like pumpkins; it just tastes like beer. This amber-colored naturally flavored ale is brewed only in the autumn and combines the flavor of vine-ripened pumpkin and spices with traditional crystal meth. What?! Crystal malt! It says ‘crystal malt’. Whew, heh heh, sorry about that. I was freaked out for a second there. I’m re-reading the sentence on the bottle and I’m just not tasting the ‘vine-ripened pumpkin and spices’. Which brings me to…

The Shipyard: Pumpkinhead Ale

Ahhh, Shipyard. I have a soft spot in my heart for this beer. I once went to a Geology conference in Portland, Maine and was able to consume a shit load of the local beer while I was still underage. That beer, the beer that had me puking in the bathroom in under 3 hours, was Shipyard. It’s good beer, I like it. This Pumpkinhead has a picture of a statue man on a sitting on a statue horse, with his right arm raised in triumph or victory. Where the statue man’s head should be is a cartoon pumpkin with fairly sinister cut-outs of a mouth, nose and eyes. I don’t know if this is meant to be a Sleepy Hollow reference or what, but it’s cool. Now for the first sip…

Oh yeah! You can totally taste the pumpkin and spices in this. The bottle says that this is a “malt beverage with pumpkin spice added”. It’s probably just some nutmeg and cinnamon mixed in, but it’s good. I should probably pour this into a glass instead of just sucking it straight out of the bottle. I want to see if there are spices floating around in it.

No spices floating about, just a nice amber color. There really isn’t much writing on the bottle. There’s the obligatory government warning, five cent deposit in various states, a scary picture of just the pumpkin head on the neck of the bottle and bar code. [Belch] There isn’t any writing on the box either. Wait, there’s something on the bottom. Oh look, it’s directions on how to get to Federal Jack’s Restaurant & Brew Pub in Kennebunk, Maine. And how to get to The Shipyard Brewing Company in Portland, Maine. There are even wicked nice maps to go along with the directions. The maps have that old-fashioned cursive, cross-hatch quality to them, complete with pirate ships out in the water and elaborately drawn compasses. There are large fish in the Atlantic Ocean which, if drawn to scale, are about the same size as the pirate ships. I might guess that they’re whales but… they don’t looks like whales. ... ... No, I don't think they're whales. The directions are really in-depth and I think it’s nice. It’s like the directions are kind of hidden on the bottom of the box and if you find them, you be in the Shipyard secret society and allowed into their factory. [Belch] Or something.

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